Samhain Publishing

Tragedy gave them a second chance. Now they’ve got everything to lose.

Zach Ryler always prided himself on his ability to handle anything life flung at him. Nothing could have prepared him for his sister’s brutal murder, let alone being named legal guardian of her three children. Now, the only person who can help him is the one woman he vowed never to touch again. The one woman his love couldn’t fix.

Rebecca James never stopped loving Zach, even after her infertility slowly crushed her spirit and destroyed their marriage. Suddenly Fate has dropped her dream in her lap: a family. But opening her heart to them—and to Zach—is a risk she wonders if she’s ready to take.

As Zach and Rebecca struggle to help the children deal with their grief, they slowly begin to rediscover the passion they thought they’d lost. Just as they believe that this time they can get it right, shadows from the past close in, tearing at the fragile bonds they’ve forged. And a lethal predator is waiting and watching, one who will stop at nothing to protect his secrets…even murder.

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Copyright © 2010 Anne Hope
All rights reserved — a Samhain Publishing, Ltd. publication

Three children.

Was the universe playing some cruel joke on her? Rebecca wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it, but all humor evaded her. Instead, she stared dumbly at the stern-looking, gray-haired attorney in the expensive Hugo Boss suit, fighting an onslaught of symptoms she hadn’t experienced in months—the damp palms, the erratic heartbeat, the all-too-familiar stabbing sensation beneath her ribs. They gripped her with steel claws as she sat on the comfortable brown leather couch next to the man she’d sworn to love a lifetime.

A lifetime that had lasted but eight sweet, miserable years.

His familiar scent wafted toward her—that musky fragrance of mint and rain, peppered with a dash of aftershave. It strangled her almost as much as the word children had.

“There must be some mistake.” She hardly recognized her own voice. It was hoarse and held a barely noticeable trace of terror that only someone who knew her well could detect.

Of course, Zach caught it. Sympathy sped across his face, and she wanted to scream. She didn’t want his pity. She didn’t want anything from him anymore. He’d walked out on her when she’d needed him the most. He’d discarded her like a defective piece of merchandise. He’d left her to wallow in a sea of pain and misery so deep she’d nearly drowned.

But she hadn’t. She’d taken all the hope in her heart and locked it away in that dark little box where all her demons dwelled. Then she’d picked herself up and learned to move on and live again. Two long, hard years she’d worked to regain her sanity and accept the blow fate had dealt her. Two long, grueling years.

And after all was said and done, it took only that dreadful word, children, to make it all come crashing down on her again. And Zach just sat there, looking at her as if he understood all too well how she felt.

“I assure you, Mrs. Ryler—”

“James.” The word popped out before she could stop it.

Confusion pleated the attorney’s bushy brows. “Excuse me?”

“My name is Rebecca James. Mr. Ryler and I are divorced.” She could almost feel Zach flinch beside her. She angled a glance his way, noted the sharpness of his features, the way his lips tightened and his dark blue eyes suddenly refused to meet hers. Had she intentionally said that to hurt him? A part of her—the part he’d torn to shreds when he’d walked out on her—probably had.

He looked thin, drawn. His usually tanned skin was pale beneath the harsh glare of the fluorescent overhead lighting, his midnight-black hair—although still as thick as the day she’d met him—laced with gray at the temples. Grief had taken its toll on him, but he would rather swallow a glassful of nails than show it.

His ability to bottle up his emotions, to take control of a situation and accept life’s twists and turns with grace and a humbling sense of self-discipline had always driven her crazy. Why wasn’t he shaking his fists at the sky, screaming bloody murder at the heavens? His baby sister and brother-in-law had just been shot to death, leaving his niece and two nephews orphaned. That should have been enough to send even Gandhi over the edge, but not him. Nothing shook Zach Ryler. Not death, not heartache and certainly not the slow, devastating loss of a dream.

Sensing the tension between them, the attorney—Neil Hopkins, or was it Hawkins?—cleared his throat and continued. “I assure you, Ms. James, there’s no mistake. I had the benefit of working with Liam for over ten years. I deeply hope he saw me not only as his boss, but as his friend.” He paused, took a second to compose himself.

“What I’m trying to say is that I knew Liam on a personal level, and he and Lindsay made their wishes very clear. You and your husband—ex-husband—” he corrected, “have been named legal guardians of their three children.” Errant sunbeams trickled in from the window and gilded the smooth surface of the mahogany desk that dominated the room. Behind it, the lawyer sat, looking aggrieved.

Panic expanded inside her. Get a grip. Don’t lose it.

“I’ll take care of my niece and nephews on my own.” Zach’s voice scraped the air like sandpaper. This was the first time he’d spoken since they’d entered the stifling office in the downtown Boston high-rise. “I don’t want or need Rebecca’s help.”

Why did his dismissal cut her so deep? He was giving her what she wanted—a way out. She should’ve been thrilled. Instead, a wrenching ache blossomed in her chest.

“Social services may take issue with that,” the lawyer replied. “A man raising three young children on his own—”

“Widowed and divorced fathers do it all the time.” He leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees, his hands fisted between them. She recognized the non-negotiable stance, noted the square set of his shoulders and the slight spasm in his jaw. He was digging in his heels, literally and figuratively. His eyes, however, remained shuttered—as clear and flat as a calm sea on a windless day.

Fighting to keep her wits about her, Rebecca rose. Her nails dug painfully into her palms. “I’m sorry.” She slanted a beseeching look Zach’s way. “I loved Lindsay like a sister—you know that—but I can’t do this. I just can’t.”

The lawyer looked stunned and, for the first time since he’d called them into the leather-scented office, at a loss for words.

Zach simply nodded. “I know.”

Rebecca steeled her heart and broke the unsettling eye contact, then shot out the door. It slammed behind her, a loud, hollow reminder of what a coward she was. She was an expert at slamming doors. She’d slammed the door on her marriage, she’d slammed the door on all her dreams of home and family, and now she’d just slammed the door on the second chance fate had seen fit to grant her.

The thought of letting Lindsay down gnawed at her. Lindsay wasn’t only her sister-in-law but her lifelong best friend. Or she had been until Rebecca turned her back on her. Ever since she’d separated from Zach, she’d been unable to bear being around Lindsay anymore. Lindsay—with her perfect marriage and three beautiful children—had been a reminder of everything she’d never have. Just thinking of her had jammed painful needles in her gut, had driven in her failures with the force of a sledgehammer.

Instead of facing the pain, she’d opted to hide from it, and in the process she’d not only lost a best friend but a sister.

She’d missed her these past two years. Loneliness was an insidious thing, sharp-toothed and pervasive. It had slowly eaten away at her until she was hollow inside, a frail shell encompassing nothing.

For months she’d been meaning to call her, but every time she picked up the phone she’d lose her nerve. Now it was too late. Lindsay was dead, and Rebecca could never tell her how sorry she was.

Perhaps she shouldn’t have walked out just now. She owed it to Lindsay to make sure her children were okay. She had to put her personal feelings aside and do what was right.

Her heart pounded louder than a symphony of drums at the thought. The walls of her throat swelled. With a growing sense of urgency, she rammed her finger against the elevator button harder than was required. The urge to escape strangled her. Dear God, what’s wrong with me?

She’d thought she’d finally gotten a handle on her emotions. Had she just spent the last two years fooling herself?

No, she couldn’t accept that. She was solid now, on her way to finally being whole again. This little lapse in her self-control was perfectly understandable. She was still reeling from Lindsay’s death, was coping with feelings of pain and loss, layered with guilt.

“I’m sorry, Becca.” Zach’s voice pierced the heavy mist smothering her brain. She hadn’t heard him creep up behind her. “I had no idea. I would have expected Lindsay and Liam to change their will after the divorce.”

She wanted to tell him to leave her alone, to let her wallow in her despondency the way he had two years ago, but the words remained trapped in her throat.

“Are you all right?” Zach anchored her by placing his hand on her lower back. Whether it was habit or a desire to touch her that impelled him to do so, she couldn’t be sure.

Rebecca tensed in response. Part of her wanted to recoil, her flesh scorched by yet another reminder of all that was lost to her forever. But another part of her—the traitorous part—wanted to lean into his embrace, to let him comfort and support her.

Great solace could be found in the familiar, and Zach’s touch was like the comfortable sweater you’d had since you were a teen or the house you’d lived in all your life—full of memories and feelings, both good and bad, but always a soothing balm to a bruised spirit.

“I meant what I said in there. I’ll take care of those kids on my own. So you can breathe easy.”

His heat branded her, made her body flush and her heart crash. The lump blocking her windpipe thickened. “I’m sorry— I can’t—”

A high-pitched ding rent the air, and the elevator doors slid open. Desperate to sever the physical contact, Rebecca dove into the cab. Seconds later the doors glided closed, shutting out the image of Zach’s beautiful face, pinched with disappointment and a sobering dose of acceptance.

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